Divorce

What does one do when his/her parents might be getting divorced? Because I think mine might be, but they haven't said anything about a divorce, so I don't want to bring it up. I mean, I think everyone's lives would be easier if they did get divorced, but it would also be very hard, especially financially, what with having two kids in high school and one in middle school next year, all at yeshiva. My parents have been fighting a lot lately. Actually, not just lately. My parents have been fighting a lot all the time. And now, they keep going to these appointments together. I feel like they are going to a marriage counselor (do those exist?) or they are going to someone who specializes in writing up divorce papers, helping them figure out how to split everything up.

I know it sounds horrible, but I would be pretty happy with a divorce. I would live with my mom, no question about it, and only have to visit my dad once in a while, maybe once a month, but probably not more than that. Even my best friend notices how much less tense, nervous, and jumpy my mom is when my dad isn't home. The house is quieter (sort of; quiet is slightly hard to achieve when you have a 16 year old brother and an 11 and a half year old brother).

I think the one person a divorce would be hard on is my younger brother. He is closest with my dad. My dad spoils him like there's no tomorrow, never saying no to anything he wants. Sometimes my dad gets mad at my brother for bothering him, but he never gets as angry as he does at the rest of us. It really annoys me when I think about how my dad spoils my brother so much, almost never getting angry at him compared to how many times he gets angry at me, my mom, and my older brother. It also really worries me when I think about what it's going to be like living with my mom and two brothers, and having to deal with my younger brother. He gets on my nerves so much!! Sometimes I get so angry and annoyed at him, that I start to genuinely hate him. I know I sound like the worst sister imaginable, but you've never had to live with him before!!

I'm really in the mood for jelly beans right now, so I think I'm going to go bike to the candy store to get some, and maybe some chocolate and gum too. I guess I'll just stock up on enough to last me for a couple of weeks at least. I like to stock up on candy once in a long while, and then keep it on my desk, because then when I'm studying or doing homework, or if I'm just in a bad mood, I have something sweet to eat. It always helps!! You should all try it you know. Just go out, buy a thing of your favorite candy that you can have whenever you want, and just keep it on your desk or someplace else in your room if not your desk. Then when you're working and need something to keep you going, you have it right there. Or if you're sad, you have something sweet that you love to cheer you up, and it's in easy access!!

Tata for now!!

-Sara